| Resolve |
[Jan. 1st, 2010|04:53 am] |
Another year passes (the snowflakes age in slow motion) as if it was a day and memories slide away from my mind as quickly as they are formed in the still essence of time
Another year of silent rejection of joy distilled into contentment, A year of splendid isolation and thought (embryonic pieces of understanding, yet still I remain clumsy and a fool)
Don't let yourself drift when tomorrow comes your way or this fragile placidity we all reach for might break and we will be left to dream while we are awake
So this is the new year, halfheartedly working for a whole heart but crawling towards the sun (Summer will let be breathe again, she'll surely let me sleep again) |
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| Resolve |
[Jan. 1st, 2010|03:23 am] |
Another year passes (the snowflakes age in slow motion) as if it was a day and memories slide away from my mind as quickly as they are formed in the still essence of time
Another year of silent rejection of joy distilled into contentment, A year of splendid isolation and thought (embryonic pieces of understanding, yet still I remain clumsy and a fool)
Don't let yourself drift when tomorrow comes your way or this fragile placidity we all reach for might break and we will be left to dream while we are awake
So this is the new year, halfheartedly working for a whole heart but crawling towards the sun (Summer will let be breathe again, she'll surely let me sleep again) |
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| Maladroit |
[Dec. 29th, 2009|05:58 am] |
I want you to lay between me and my thoughts, to harbor haste until it is needed, divide what is unnecessary from this confusion for I am clumsy and foolish
Love is awkward and youthful innocently inept; as fragile as the words I speak (still, I am unable to learn)
My bones are full of rust they strain with every movement, struggling to gain a secular holiness that would be worthy of Beauty
But clumsy I remain so let me sleep a few minutes longer and maybe a little weight will be lifted
I want you to lay between me and my thoughts, to disentangle me from them; to take my warmth in return because sometimes silence is the most precious gift the clumsy can confer |
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| Wait |
[Dec. 29th, 2009|02:25 am] |
Temptation waits for a ravenous heart, lingering in this pool of fury hoping that lust will not devour love (I can not let my eyes rest upon these anachronistic gods that bleed desperately in search of recognition, I am paralysed but privy to perfection and lies; carved out of truth so hastily
heartless hinds hurriedly hide hurt behind voracious visions, disguising the disgusting with painful elegance)
you were yesterday so quickly archaic, so swiftly you followed serenity into sickness twisting and swirling about entwining antitheses effortlessly (accidentally, it seems now)
She holds fast to the years which grow more and more tired through her melancholy eyes (like vines embracing endless weeds after refusing to surrender for so long, heavy they fall into each others arms) |
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| A Priori |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|08:00 pm] |
Rusty survival breathes heavily and throws up its hands in capitulation while needs give way to endless wants (reason seems to be almost extinct, bleeding in the streets and on the freeways burning with effervescence over its suffering)
I try to think back to when we were young and knew that the world was ours and the night was a sanctuary that could not be desecrated by anything we said or did but it seems so meaningless now, with the light of years illuminating it seems anything but sacrosanct
So dig beneath your thoughts, beneath your heart, and find some new diamond to glitter in imitation of your Sun (another distraction for your lonely eyes) |
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| Dig |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|07:07 pm] |
In this frozen river of melancholy I mend another broken bone and send another loose thought home I bend myself only to break
It feels like I've been asleep for too many months of this year letting my eyes be pulled shut by heavy thoughts and tired inadequacies (I'm perpetually reluctant, constantly swept away by the force of my own desire)
isolation dissolves every word I spoke, still I hunger for something more than what I have found but all I seem to see in the innumerable faces is echoes and shame, hidden as best they can
Yet, I cannot believe this I find in you something substantial and concrete something that doesn't end (you gracefully bend towards then away from me like a tree in the fickle wind) you are beautifully imperfect and I don't know what to do with you
there is reason to stand tall and reason to fall to the earth in tomorrow we'll carry on to a way out and bury what we're worth (bury it beneath the weight of our own inadequacies) |
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| Nothing To Repair |
[Nov. 27th, 2009|06:05 am] |
I have a sinners heart, I drag my way slowly home cursing my tired bones (a million transgressions echoing alongside the creaks that footsteps make on this wooden floor in this abandoned home)
I own a simple heart I know the things you need, I know you'll make it right (there's nothing here to repair when there is no rain, just leaves falling desperately from trees [from the heavens they descend and drain from me my disbelief])
I've got broken bones and constellations that don't understand my cordial convalescence and you're not willing to stay so I'll stay clean and pray while this divine fire burns gray (I know the things you need, I hope you'll get me right)
I have a sinners heart and I know that you'll devour me
As a side note, all three of the poems I just posted are still works in progress, with huge room for change. Most of the time when I post they're completed or virtually completed. Not so much on these three. I changed them considerably just when I posted them, I'll probably rework them quite a bit more still..... |
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| Mannequins |
[Nov. 27th, 2009|05:47 am] |
Prudent Desire show me your face in this artificial light (the only place where we can feel safe anymore)
We are all so capable of such egregious inhumanity We treat each other with such dark disregard spawned from a frightful fear enduring individual tears as if they were nothing more than faceless mannequins (frozen memories left in the corners of the dark, as statues of divinity monuments to all that we have been and what we can no longer be)
Glory to purity and this holy heart, so rare, like a lotus drifting blissfully on the ocean after a careful kiss (We are digging our own graves) Here, are the things I need, Here, are the things I keep (Every metaphor for chaos that exists and every bit of beauty spawned from that which is abstract could give birth to symmetry if we'd just believe)
But the elegy lingers (We let hope slip through our grimy fingers) |
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| Returning To A Familiar Home |
[Nov. 27th, 2009|05:33 am] |
This farewell tastes sweet and I still feel the placid loneliness that drifted in after your goodbye
but somehow it is still truth that isolation is safety, being alone, is being deep within the calm and peaceful heart of a ghost
Your eyes discarded me and drowned words in the notes and proverbs
I sought destruction while snow fell with paragon patience: determined to descend onto my warm skin and though I breathe then choke on this I have learned to be perfect and to exhale Winter, and desire in a single breath (you are a joyous goodbye, sending me silently back to this sacred safety)
So Sanctity the countless wrinkles in your skin are just insuperable smiles (Sorrow is just another Sin) |
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| The Seasons Are Soluble |
[Nov. 25th, 2009|02:48 am] |
The city lights they shine in a distance that is palpable and the fire cracks the trees have lost their leaves (lost them in the cold)
We are all haunted by ghosts crawling through our memories (caught by the months as they pass and we leave a little more behind with every forward step) So if you feel like now is the time to fall then I'll let you go
Your affluent heart bursts with generosity and something that I can not understand yet though I try I am unable to synthesize hope and pain into something that you'd understand
November is white and tempting winter to come quietly into its fallacy while December is gray, painted by numbers and selected memories (I feel better when I get some sleep I'll feel better when the winter's gone) |
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| An Atom In The Sun |
[Oct. 24th, 2009|03:10 am] |
We still search for some significance in the stars, still stay in the breast of today cutting words cautiously carving out laughter and wonder (another distraction to save us from ourselves)
You can leave, you can go parade what worth you have in the streets of Elysium where names are blood and meaning is the house that shelters you from love and hate, (ain't it good to be back home)
We are creatures of uncertainty but there are lights dangling in the sky impossibly beautiful, seemingly static amidst the chaos of our lives, a piece of perfection pleading for recognition (Truth is demonised and stigmatised relegated to a convenience only to be touched when all that is is gone)
So remember that with our thoughts we create the world (We are born to die) |
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| Rough Mind (Condemned) |
[Oct. 24th, 2009|02:13 am] |
An old mans eyes burn quietly (wearing his drink on his sleeve) Desperate despair driving the last shards of sanity away from the fray, and we all say that we can't stay, I can't stay even though you've lost yourself, (So is anybody waiting at all for you 'cause it's time for something, time to tell, time to wander around in the lost and found, to sit alone and drown)
We are all guilty of ignoring eachothers pain, a universal transgression (indifference to suffering) we defer responsibility, compassion, to silence, give away worth to the hopeful, hopelessly bleeding under the rain and dispose of our shame in the depths of ignorance
and I can't find you anymore, you've faded away lost your humanity in the mirror of fear where what is tired and misunderstood is dead to young eyes
Whispers swirl and move about until they become thoughts dressing silence in sin (Is anybody waiting at all for us, when we are ignorantly hopeless, on our long way down) |
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| Wandering Refuge II |
[Aug. 20th, 2009|03:43 pm] |
My mind is weary, my body is tangled with time and air, my spirit is tired, exhausted by existence
Desire digs a grave for what worth is left of our ghosts (convertibles and chaos caress eachother, while we consume truth and justice) yet, disgust is no remedy, disdain for humanity may be justified, but justice, it does not create
Misery is sold to somnambulist strangers as if it was some precious commodity (We lie and lie and lie and lie, we dream and dream and dream, we cry and cry and cry and cry,
We love what is above, yet loathe reality so easily)
We are so worthy of contempt that at times it can seem difficult to justify our superficial existence (I don't belong in this world) |
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| Wandering Refuge I |
[Aug. 20th, 2009|03:43 pm] |
There is silence and I don't know where I belong (Do you know where you belong?) just that I want to erase this capacious despair and replace it with safety (precarious though it will be in its infancy)
and everything just burns to the ground, it all goes from beautiful noise to mournful whispers both merely vain and clumsy attempts to become everlasting echoes (like light leaving its star to find your eyes)
But chaos careens off of your fingers, fingers like knives, denying desire and destroying destiny (I'd cut doubt and caress gravity but what's the use when all I have is silence?) |
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| Endure |
[Jun. 19th, 2009|05:47 am] |
Touch me with disease and let loose your thoughts (let logic illuminate loneliness and the wisdom granted to those suffering solitude)
Honour looks emaciate and haunted by betrayal and memories of past glory
and yet you continue to vehemently insist on selfish neutrality clinging to superficiality and the edge of reason (somehow still alive, but suffocating surreptitiously) |
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| Inhale |
[Jun. 19th, 2009|05:47 am] |
Crawl towards me like a wounded spider and with ostebsibly open arms I will wait for you (wait to crush you with a blunt tomorrow and terrify you with today)
Are we like you say, just creatures of decay, animals consumed by lust, and doomed to dust? (We are simple slaves silently slipping further from serenity
We gasp and choke on artificial love)
Squirm away from this hope, writhe powerfully as you struggle to breathe because I don't believe any of these things you've said to me to be true So sweet women I'll be honest, I am "miserable," how are you?
In the ocean there is a panacea for our humanity and your inimical desperation (there, the quiet sound of water will cover us and force placidity down our throats) |
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| Deconstruction |
[Jun. 19th, 2009|05:47 am] |
Youth disappears so rapidly We stumble so often leading lives of desperate silence and we scrape away at the edges of Omega with Art and Dance, with hungry Kisses and Conversation, we shower it with tears and wasted years
and as we age, we become quiet, humble in our acceptance of the grim darkness We mumble truth and lies as decay breeds desperation
How shattered we can be when the sun rises, quietly illuminating crimes of youth and we crumble elegantly, carefully, as if we were purposely disassembling ourselves in slow motion
O, how quietly we will scream.
Changed the last three lines from "Oh,/How slowly/We move" I believe that I shall keep the change. |
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| Contempt |
[Jun. 19th, 2009|05:44 am] |
You are naked, gently worthless, tasteless to my tongue, foolishly vain, idiotically consumed by the drifting and meaningless thoughts of others (your silicone mind murders desire)
your body is vacant save for a plastic heart, desperate to be wanted, utterly shildish and repulsive (yet i let you stay, let your lips have their way)
In the dark I feel nothing and in the dark I pray to stay (you're nobody girl, you're a nobody girl) |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 31st, 2009|06:31 am] |
The morning wind flows past me and it carries stories that will force your eyes to open and it tastes bittersweet like compassion and change
I've lost my way for the millionth time So I'll open up my arms and say "My heart is still blind, yet still the sun shines on this grey man, this moving clay."
Dispassionate words travel towards you as I open my mouth and there is something inside that resembles satisfaction (My isolation is desire) |
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| Naked Lights |
[May. 31st, 2009|06:31 am] |
How terrifyingly beautiful we are, like summer air we tumble about colliding occasionally with certainty and force, how cautiously chaotic we are, when our eyes close and our lips touch (how ravenous we become under the suns warmth)
I felt you slide silently, somewhere into the sunset as a tender gasp escaped your throat and you let me ravish your body with quiet determination. There, in those moments I drowned in you and your body
Then like the northern lights you slipped away.
You were never meant to be held (like your red dress, your heart looked better tossed upon the floor) |
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